Eight Reasons You Don't Have the Life You Thought You Would When You Were A Kid

What did you imagine life would be like when you were young?

1. You never defined what you really wanted your life to look like. It's hard to hit a target when you don't know where it is. If you feel like your life could be better, I would challenge you to figure out what kinds of things you would like to see in your life. Write them down. Discuss them with someone close to you. Make them specific.
   
   
   Don't do what many people do, however. Most people assume that having a certain amount of money is what they want. As in “If I only had a million dollars, everything would be wonderful.” Yes, a million dollars might make your life better, but what would you do with a million dollars? What would your life look like now that you have a million dollars? Where would you live? What would you do with your time? That's really what you should be striving for – not simply a random dollar amount. In fact, you'll find that if you concentrate on being the kind of person you imagine you would be if you had a million dollars, that you can probably get the kind of life you want without a million dollars. And just maybe, leading the life you love will bring in a million dollars. The point is freedom.
   
   
2. You accepted conventional wisdom. Doing what most people do will get you exactly what most people get. If you are looking for a life of obscurity and mediocrity, then by all means follow the typical advice. That usually involves going to college, getting a “good” job, finding a “good” house, and saving up for retirement in the off chance that you'll still be living and healthy enough to enjoy what you've worked so hard for. I spent some time as an insurance salesman for an agency that only sold to the medicare crowd, which is people who are over the age of 65. Many of these elderly people had followed the conventional wisdom of their time, and found that at the end of their lives they had little more to do than watch TV all day. Most were either too feeble or too poor to do something as simple as go for a walk in the park. The ones who did seem the happiest and most energetic were the ones who ignored, disregarded, or even poked fun at conventional wisdom.
   
   
3. You listened to well-intentioned advice. Most of the times when you explain big dreams to people, they try to bring you back to “reality” by explaining how things “really” work. But if you analyze their advice, you'll find that, first of all, they have given your idea almost zero thought, and, secondly, they say things that make them feel better about themselves. When I told people I was going to quit my job to go work as a volunteer in an organization that required me to pay them to work there, there were quite a few people who said that saving the world is all well and good, but that I should be realistic about earning some money first. They said that supporting yourself is “the way the world works.” At first, it caused me a lot of doubt and worry. But then I realized that they were just trying to justify their own life. By living outside of their accepted ideas, I was actually calling into question all the decisions they had made because of those ideas. Once I realized where they were coming from, it was a lot easier for me to jump into my own adventure without hesitation.
   
   
4. You worried about the wrong things. Instead of risk, you opted for safety. Instead of the long shot, you went for the sure thing. You were worried that if you gave it your all, you might end up just giving it all away. The reality of life, though, is that there is plenty of time for second chances and restarts. If you passionately and intensely give yourself to something for five years and in the end you don't have what you wanted, so what? At the very least you will have gained a world of knowledge and experience that will set you above 98% of the population out there. You will also have truly experienced those five years instead of simply passing time being safe and comfortable. It's been two and a half years since my wife and I gave away everything in our house, most of our clothes, very nearly everything we owned, and moved out of our town home. Most people spend a lot of time worrying about what would happen if they lose their stuff. But do you know what happened to me? It was the most freeing experience in my life. So many possibilities opened up to us simply because we were no longer tied down by our belongings. Life became alive for us. Worrying about “what might happen” is the only way to make sure that nothing happens.
   
   
5. You listened to the experts. Einstein was only 26 when he published his Special Theory of Relativity. Joan of Arc was 19 when she became the commander of the French army. Bill Gates was 20 when he founded Microsoft. They didn't listen to the experts. Roger Bannister was the first runner to run a mile in under four minutes, when everyone else said it wasn't possible for the human body to run that fast. Experts are only experts until someone who can see the impossible proves them wrong.
   
   
6. You thought you needed a pass-key. Many people believe they can only become successful if they have a certain something. What this something is depends on the person. For many people, it's a college degree. Or a master's. Or a doctorate. Or maybe it's meeting a certain person who will provide for them and whisk them away to a dreamland. Possibly it's getting hired at a certain company, or getting that promotion at work. Maybe it's closing that special deal, or buying that perfect house. It may even be that perfectly protected retirement account.
   
   
   Whatever it is, many people suffer under the delusion that they have to wait until they have something to start living the life that they dreamed about when they were a kid. But you don't need to wait! There's no real barrier. You don't have to wait for someone else to give you permission to enter. Figure out what you want your life to look like, and start getting busy doing it.
   
   
7. You never started. Although it seems simple, many people have fallen prey to this very trap. They think they want to be something – like an actor. Lots of people want to be an actor when they're kids, right? But when they get older, they never do anything to make it happen. They don't ever go to an audition. They don't research the industry. They don't improve their skill-sets or try to create opportunities to appear in films. They just sigh, and wish that the world were different, and that the universe had somehow, magically handed them their dream on a silver platter despite all the choices they were actively making which led them away from the very thing they said they wanted.
   
   
8. You found something you wanted more. If this is you, I applaud you. I know I fall into this category. You recognize that the specifics of a dream you had as a child aren't necessarily the true heart of the matter. As a kid, I always said I wanted to be a scientist when I grew up. However, the older I got the more I realized I don't enjoy what scientists actually do. What I really wanted was to do something that took expertise that would cause positive change in the world and in people's lives, and that would be exciting and interesting at the same time. In the cartoons, a scientist can do that. In the real world it's the people who spend time investing into other people that make things like that happen. So now I'm busy pursuing that goal. Everything I do is driven by it – even writing this article.
   
   
   I want everyone I come into contact with to be able to live an extraordinary life. It is possible. You can do amazing things that will change the world. We need you! The world is waiting for your brilliance to dazzle us. Me dream is to see you start that journey.