When You Get Knocked Down

Wow, I wish I was that cool.

My website go hacked.  Not this one, the other one I was building to take over for this one.  After nearly a month of preparation, I was almost ready to launch my new website.  I had worked very hard to make sure that it was the way I wanted it to look, tweaked every little setting, found just the right colors, and spent generally too much time getting it the way I liked it.


After putting it off for longer than I had wanted to initially, I was ready!  I had written, edited, and re-written the opening essay.  I was going to launch it to the world with a lot of gusto.


Then, the day I logged in to post my article, my password didn't work.  Huh?  I tried again, pretty sure I hadn't recently changed my password.  Then I cruised on over to my homepage to find one very like the picture above (I didn't save the actual image because I was annoyed).


Great.  So here I was, everything in place, and someone comes along and hacks* into my webpage, ruining everything I had spent so long preparing.  All my work designing - gone.  All the thought and effort, wasted.


Honestly, I was tempted just to give up on the entire thing.  For real.  I had this whole inner monologue going on about the situation.  "What am I doing anyways?  No one's going to read a blog that I write.  Look, all this work and it just ended up getting hacked anyways.  Now you have to start over.  Who even knows if this will be worthwhile?  Look how much effort it is just to get a decent web page up and running, let alone creating something that other people will find valuable and worthwhile.  It's too much of an uphill battle.  I should just quit before I get too deep into this."


I find that voice accompanies me in many places that I am unsure of.  The voice that tries to predict the future by weighing the effort and pain involved against the potential benefit.  That voice, strangely, always perfectly imagines the pain and heartache I will face.  It never seems to get around to actually imagining the benefits of perseverance.


For example, I can clearly imagine how I will put time and effort into building a website.  It will mean me sacrificing time with my family, time away from entertaining myself, and time away from building friendships.  I will faithfully commit to these efforts, but once I get a website established it will be totally ugly.  No one will like it, and besides, it will be hacked every other week and I'll have to beg Allah the Merciful to knock it off.  When I do manage to produce content that inspires a reaction, the reaction I get will be from people who say that I'm pretentious and arrogant, or mainly to say that I have no talent or unique voice.  And finally, when it can't get any worse, and I finally give up, people will label me as a quitter and failure who can't even do something as ridiculously easy as running a web page.


Once I imagine that, I'm pretty much ready to close up shop.


The voice of my imagination never really gets around to the good stuff.  I never fully imagine what it might be like if I do succeed, and things go well for me.  I think part of it is because I don't always believe that I'm the kind of person that good things happen to.  But when I do take the time to really envision what would happen, it totally fires me up.


For example, let's say I start a blog that is actually somewhat popular.  Now, not only is it popular, but the people who read it are truly inspired.  They stop living boring, ordinary lives and instead start living extraordinary lives that bless other people.  They share their change and are grateful for the work I do.  I release products that people pay real money for and are clamoring for the next one.  I get book deals, and speaking engagements, and consulting gigs.  I'm so successful that I hire a techno-goon to hunt down the hacker, hack into his system and delete all his japanimation movies.  Life is good.


When viewed from that perspective, it seems ridiculous to not at least give it a second chance.  Basically, it's that old adage about getting back up when you get knocked down, and how a good man keeps getting up even when he falls over and over.  It's not the getting knocked down, it's the staying down that will destroy you and your dreams.


Besides, living an extraordinary life is not about putting myself in situations where I am sure not to get hurt.  It's about accepting the reality that life will throw things at me that I'm not prepared for, and that I may have a hard time accepting or dealing with those things.  Even though those things will come, I believe the payoffs will be worthwhile in the end.


So, I am still planning on launching a website, which will be awesome.  I am thinking of something special for the first hundred people who join once it launches, so be looking for that.  I'm thinking that the website will be rebuilt and ready to go in about 1 or 2 weeks.  Unfortunately, the reason I wanted to have it ready before this month is that I'm incredibly busy this month with the school I am running starting on the 28th, so getting the website done and the school running will be quite the accomplishment.  Stay tuned for updates.


Anyhow.  I hope this post finds you on the upswing, where everything is falling into place and things come easily.  If not, I hope it gives you the courage to get back up one more time and do something amazing with your life.


What are some things that help you get back up?
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*Technically, this is not a hack.  It's a crack.  Hacking is when you find some way onto a system that isn't supposed to be there.  Cracking is when you just get the password.

The Time I Got Paid to do Something I Didn't Know How to Do

Okay, so it wasn't exactly as complex as this lady's job, but still...

In this quest to find a life outside of normal, I usually encounter a little fear along the way. Most times, the fear takes on the form of a reasonable, sensible voice in my head that does its best to convince me not to stick out. It might tell me that I'll look stupid, or that I'll be a huge failure, or that I just don't have what it takes.

My goal is to overcome that voice so that my life can be unique and exciting. Sometimes I manage to be the victor, sometimes I give in and miss out on an opportunity to be amazed.

This is the story of one time I won, overcame the fear, and stepped beyond normal. For a period of time I had been working with a company that fixed and flipped houses. One of the guys I worked with was hired to do a small side job. He brought me along to help. It was supposed to be a two-day job, just the demolition of a master bathroom in a house belonging to a guy named Bill. All we were hired to do was tear the old stuff out and throw it away. After we did the “easy” stuff, the “professionals” would come in to finish the remodel.

Well, I handled the job like any other job I do. I showed up on time, I had a good attitude, and I did the best job I possibly could. The owners of the house were impressed with our work ethic, and asked what else we could do. We could do most of the rough work and drywall, so they kept us on to do that. That lasted about 2 more weeks, which was great for me because work was really slow and I really needed the money.

Now, the owner of the house, Bill, had been in contact with this tile guy to install the tile in the bathroom. And it was definitely going to be a nice bathroom. Natural stone tile everywhere, about 10 bazillion shower heads, heated floor, and big soaking tub. You know, one of those Home and Garden bathrooms. It was a very profitable job, but the “professional” tile guy Bill knew kept putting him off. First, his other job ran over time. Next, he was sick, or his dog was sick, or something. Then the next time it was something else. Basically he kept giving excuses to the point that Bill was sick of it and just wanted someone he could rely on. It was nearing the point where my portion of the job would be done, when Bill approached us and asked “Can you guys do tile work?”

You should know that I had never done any tile work my entire life. Maybe once I had helped my dad install some tile when I was about 10 years old, but I didn't really know anything about it. Neither did my other friends who were working on the project with me. Both of them, immediately and without hesitation, replied “Nope. Don't do tile. Wouldn't want to.”

Bill looked at me. I replied, confidently, “Sure, I can do tile work,” even though I never had before. The confidence is important, I think. Although I hadn't actually done it before, I was completely confident in my ability to quickly learn how and to do an excellent job. I was honest with him, and told him that I hadn't ever been paid to do it before. But because of my work ethic, integrity, and confidence, he was willing to let me take a shot at it.

That night, you can bet I was spending a lot of time reading tutorials, watching videos, and doing whatever else I could to learn about tile and how to do it well.

The next few days went great. I started with a small portion of the house that needed repair anyways, as sort of a test of my skills. It was definitely hard work (as all construction and remodeling is), but there wasn't anything magical about it. It was like most other things in life – it just needed applied focus and determination, along with a willingness to work as hard as was needed. I found I was actually enjoying myself because it was such a new experience. I did a good job, so Bill let me do the bathroom floor. Once again, he liked what he saw so he kept expanding the job. Finally, 3 bathrooms, one entry way, and one sun room later, I was done.

What was supposed to be a two-day job turned into a job that lasted for two more than two months, plus I got referrals to several of his neighbors which turned into more work for me. I think, all told, I made around $15,000 from those jobs. On top of that, I'm now a professional tile installer! I have a skill that is a permanent part of who I am and is something I can use to bring value wherever I go. And none of it was impossibly difficult. Hard work, yes, but new and exciting at the same time.

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None of this would have been possible if I hadn't been determined ahead of time to overcome fear in my life. If there had been even slight hesitation when Bill had asked if I could do tile, the fear would have won and he probably would have turned elsewhere to find someone who could do it. I would have missed out on everything that choice has brought me.

I like this story because it reminds me how much difference a simple attitude can make. Life is full of possibilities, and if you are determined to make the most of them, you can have a life that is full and enjoyable.

Be determined! Don't let fear stop you from living the life that is possible for you. Fear is the illusion that keeps you in mediocrity. You have a lot to offer the world, and, to be honest, we need what you can offer. Decide ahead of time that you will face the world with confidence, overcome fear, and see what doors open up for you.


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In other news, I'm planning on migrating this blog.  Although Blogger has been good to me, I'm looking to extend my wings a little and live outside the sheltered borders.


Keep reading for the updates, I plan on launching my new website by the end of this month!

Eight Reasons You Don't Have the Life You Thought You Would When You Were A Kid

What did you imagine life would be like when you were young?

1. You never defined what you really wanted your life to look like. It's hard to hit a target when you don't know where it is. If you feel like your life could be better, I would challenge you to figure out what kinds of things you would like to see in your life. Write them down. Discuss them with someone close to you. Make them specific.
   
   
   Don't do what many people do, however. Most people assume that having a certain amount of money is what they want. As in “If I only had a million dollars, everything would be wonderful.” Yes, a million dollars might make your life better, but what would you do with a million dollars? What would your life look like now that you have a million dollars? Where would you live? What would you do with your time? That's really what you should be striving for – not simply a random dollar amount. In fact, you'll find that if you concentrate on being the kind of person you imagine you would be if you had a million dollars, that you can probably get the kind of life you want without a million dollars. And just maybe, leading the life you love will bring in a million dollars. The point is freedom.
   
   
2. You accepted conventional wisdom. Doing what most people do will get you exactly what most people get. If you are looking for a life of obscurity and mediocrity, then by all means follow the typical advice. That usually involves going to college, getting a “good” job, finding a “good” house, and saving up for retirement in the off chance that you'll still be living and healthy enough to enjoy what you've worked so hard for. I spent some time as an insurance salesman for an agency that only sold to the medicare crowd, which is people who are over the age of 65. Many of these elderly people had followed the conventional wisdom of their time, and found that at the end of their lives they had little more to do than watch TV all day. Most were either too feeble or too poor to do something as simple as go for a walk in the park. The ones who did seem the happiest and most energetic were the ones who ignored, disregarded, or even poked fun at conventional wisdom.
   
   
3. You listened to well-intentioned advice. Most of the times when you explain big dreams to people, they try to bring you back to “reality” by explaining how things “really” work. But if you analyze their advice, you'll find that, first of all, they have given your idea almost zero thought, and, secondly, they say things that make them feel better about themselves. When I told people I was going to quit my job to go work as a volunteer in an organization that required me to pay them to work there, there were quite a few people who said that saving the world is all well and good, but that I should be realistic about earning some money first. They said that supporting yourself is “the way the world works.” At first, it caused me a lot of doubt and worry. But then I realized that they were just trying to justify their own life. By living outside of their accepted ideas, I was actually calling into question all the decisions they had made because of those ideas. Once I realized where they were coming from, it was a lot easier for me to jump into my own adventure without hesitation.
   
   
4. You worried about the wrong things. Instead of risk, you opted for safety. Instead of the long shot, you went for the sure thing. You were worried that if you gave it your all, you might end up just giving it all away. The reality of life, though, is that there is plenty of time for second chances and restarts. If you passionately and intensely give yourself to something for five years and in the end you don't have what you wanted, so what? At the very least you will have gained a world of knowledge and experience that will set you above 98% of the population out there. You will also have truly experienced those five years instead of simply passing time being safe and comfortable. It's been two and a half years since my wife and I gave away everything in our house, most of our clothes, very nearly everything we owned, and moved out of our town home. Most people spend a lot of time worrying about what would happen if they lose their stuff. But do you know what happened to me? It was the most freeing experience in my life. So many possibilities opened up to us simply because we were no longer tied down by our belongings. Life became alive for us. Worrying about “what might happen” is the only way to make sure that nothing happens.
   
   
5. You listened to the experts. Einstein was only 26 when he published his Special Theory of Relativity. Joan of Arc was 19 when she became the commander of the French army. Bill Gates was 20 when he founded Microsoft. They didn't listen to the experts. Roger Bannister was the first runner to run a mile in under four minutes, when everyone else said it wasn't possible for the human body to run that fast. Experts are only experts until someone who can see the impossible proves them wrong.
   
   
6. You thought you needed a pass-key. Many people believe they can only become successful if they have a certain something. What this something is depends on the person. For many people, it's a college degree. Or a master's. Or a doctorate. Or maybe it's meeting a certain person who will provide for them and whisk them away to a dreamland. Possibly it's getting hired at a certain company, or getting that promotion at work. Maybe it's closing that special deal, or buying that perfect house. It may even be that perfectly protected retirement account.
   
   
   Whatever it is, many people suffer under the delusion that they have to wait until they have something to start living the life that they dreamed about when they were a kid. But you don't need to wait! There's no real barrier. You don't have to wait for someone else to give you permission to enter. Figure out what you want your life to look like, and start getting busy doing it.
   
   
7. You never started. Although it seems simple, many people have fallen prey to this very trap. They think they want to be something – like an actor. Lots of people want to be an actor when they're kids, right? But when they get older, they never do anything to make it happen. They don't ever go to an audition. They don't research the industry. They don't improve their skill-sets or try to create opportunities to appear in films. They just sigh, and wish that the world were different, and that the universe had somehow, magically handed them their dream on a silver platter despite all the choices they were actively making which led them away from the very thing they said they wanted.
   
   
8. You found something you wanted more. If this is you, I applaud you. I know I fall into this category. You recognize that the specifics of a dream you had as a child aren't necessarily the true heart of the matter. As a kid, I always said I wanted to be a scientist when I grew up. However, the older I got the more I realized I don't enjoy what scientists actually do. What I really wanted was to do something that took expertise that would cause positive change in the world and in people's lives, and that would be exciting and interesting at the same time. In the cartoons, a scientist can do that. In the real world it's the people who spend time investing into other people that make things like that happen. So now I'm busy pursuing that goal. Everything I do is driven by it – even writing this article.
   
   
   I want everyone I come into contact with to be able to live an extraordinary life. It is possible. You can do amazing things that will change the world. We need you! The world is waiting for your brilliance to dazzle us. Me dream is to see you start that journey.

A Small Collection of Thoughts on Exceptional Living

The Siduhe Grand Bridge in China - 2,132 feet above the ground.  A reminder that all things are possible.

This is a small collection of things I like to remember that make a lot of difference in the way I live:

I am valuable. Incredibly, infinitely, unimaginably valuable. I'm worth so much that God stopped what he was doing, went to find me, turned the world on its head and paid everything he had – even his life – to buy me back. I'm that valuable.

I have something to offer. The things I think, the things I say, the things I write, the way I am with people – all of these are valuable to other people. Withholding the things I have to offer is acutally a disservice to others.

Trying to eliminate risk is the riskiest thing I can do. To gain much, I must risk must. The less I risk, the less I stand to gain. If I am interested in living a full life, I must be willing to take risks both large and small.

Life is meant to be exceptional. There is no rule out there that says I have to live a certain way, there is no reason I have to follow the crowd and fade into mediocrity. I can live the life I imagine – it is possible.

I always have a choice. No matter how bad things look, or how trapped I feel in my circumstances, I always have a choice about how to live my life. There's no reason I can't do something completely unconventional or unexpected. Circumstances don't dictate my life, I do.  I have the ability to choose each moment.

One person can change the world. Just because someone's been around longer or had more experience than me or seems more confident doesn't mean they know better than me. In all of history, the people who have really made a difference are the people who did so in spite of all the “experts” telling them that they were wrong or that what they were doing was impossible. So I can stick to my beliefs and change the world by living my own exceptional life.

There are always more possibilities than what I can see. Everything, truly everything, is possible. The main thing that holds me back from living the impossible is my inability to believe in it. The more I believe that there is nothing impossible, the more impossible feats I achieve.

There are options right here, right now. I don't have to wait for “someday” to start living an extraordinary life. I don't have to wait until I have a certain amount of money, or meet that certain someone, or get that degree or equipment or book or whatever. There are opportunities right in front of me that can change my life, or other people's lives, forever if I will just have the courage to reach out and take them.

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What about you?  Have any thoughts that keep you living the dream?  I'd love to hear what they are.

7 Reasons to Give to Me

Like this bridge, I require a lot of different kinds of support.

Living an extraordinary life supported by others sounds like a nearly impossible dream. In the last article I detailed why it is important to give money away – now I'm going to speak specifically about my situation and why people might choose to support me.

There are a few reasons people would donate to keep me afloat:

1. They believe in what I'm doing.
   I feel like I have the most awesome job in the world. I get to see people's lives transformed and then watch them go out and change the world. There is nothing more exciting than to be on the front lines of making the world a better place to live. This spring we will have another group of students learning to be world-changers. Every day I think that every person would want to be a part of this if they could. Most people who support me fall into this category.
   
   
2. They want to do something outside of themselves.
   Giving away money is one of the best ways to keep what's really important in perspective – especially when you don't get anything out of it. Like I've been saying: Extraordinary lives begin when you determine to become a source of the good things in life instead of simply a consumer of them. Many people give to me because they want to do good in this world.
   
   
3. The work is important, and it's not getting done.
   Although there are many, many Christians in the world, there are still many people (approximately 30%!) who have never had the chance to hear and respond to the gospel. This is the greatest tragedy the world has faced, since it is preventable and avoidable, but the church has been largely self-serving and has not made a concentrated effort to reach the unreached. It's time to end that.
   
   
4. They want to do something but can't because of their schedule or job.
   This group essentially outsources the things they would do to me. They're saying “We would love to do what you're doing but can't for one reason or another, but want to send you in our place.” These are people I love to partner with because they are eager to hear the things that happen in my work and share the same passions I do.
   
   
5. They believe in me.
   This group of people would support me no matter what I did (like my Mom). They generally don't question what I do so much, they just know that they're happy to contribute to my overall health and well-being.
   
   
6. They understand a Biblical call to generosity.
   Both the old and new testaments implicitly and explicitly state that followers of God should be generous. Not just a call to obedience, but a real understanding of the excitement and joy that comes from being able to give someone some money. God desires interdependence among believers, and being generous with money is a big first step towards that goal.
   
   
7. They want the tax deduction.
   To be honest, I don't think anyone who gives to me does it solely for the tax benefits, but it is part of the equation for some.

Obviously that's not exhaustive. I don't presume to know every reason why people donate to me, since I'm not them. But that does cover the major reasons. In the next few days I'll post the final article in this series – the one that covers the more obscure questions I've gotten about living on support.

Why Would Anyone Give Away Money?

Living on support requires two things: someone willing to live on support, and people willing to support them. So, an obvious question that comes up is why people should give away money – at all, to anyone. Not just me. So, continuing my series of articles about living on support, here is the big answer to the big question:

Why should you donate money? Why not just keep it all to yourself? After all, you earned it.

Yes, you did earn the money you have. You do have any right to do with it whatever you would like to. However, there are several very good reasons to be generous with your money.

1. Being generous frees you from the influence of money. Let's face it, money is intoxicating. If all you want is to reach a point where you don't need any more money, you will never reach it. No matter how much you have, you will always want more, or know someone who has more. I've known a multimillionaire who was one of the most greedy people I've encountered. I've also met some poor people who seemed more content and happy than I thought was possible. Wealth is an illusion, and all the money in the world can't satisfy your need for more. The only way to break free of the addicting power is to start giving money away. Intentionally putting money into something that will not benefit you directly is one of the most powerful things a person can do to make their life better and more exciting.

2. Giving money allows you to be involved in something you otherwise couldn't be.

Many times we would like to do things to make a difference in the world. But try as we might, we are only one person and can only do so much. If you are someone who has a job, you probably have a job for an honorable reason – like supporting your family, or driving the economy, or because you don't want to live with your parents (If you don't have a good reason for having a job other than paying the rent, maybe you should seriously re-evaluate the choices you're making). Earning money, however, has this ability to consume nearly everything you do, so that by the time you're done working and earning the money you have very little time to give to something that you feel is truly worthwhile and meaningful. That's where giving comes in. Not everyone can just quit their job. I get that. However, they can donate some of the energy that they use working on that job to a cause they believe in by giving some money to it. That way they are still participating, still doing the work of world-changing, just in an outsourced kind of way. It's a partnership: one person works a job so he can earn money, but is unable to do any sort of work helping others; another works helping others but is unable to receive any pay for it. By working together, both of their goals are accomplished.

3. There is a huge payoff in giving money away.

Financially, you will never see that money again. You can kiss it good-bye. However, emotionally and spiritually, there is a huge reward. You get the satisfaction of knowing that you are doing something honorable. You get the pleasure of knowing that you are making a difference, not just being a leech on the planet. You get to have relationships with people who are on the front lines. You become a source of good instead of just a receptacle for it. In the end, it simply feels great. That's an awesome reason.

4. You can.

This one seems so simple. If we could somehow shrink the world down to one dinner table, we in the western world would be astounded at how grossly we gorge ourselves while the rest of the world has to make due with the bare minimums. I'm not saying that we should equally re-distribute wealth. I'm simply saying that it becomes less important to upgrade to the new 120 Mhz high definition monitor when you consider that there are young people selling themselves into unspeakably hellish situations because they don't see any other means of surviving. Life is not about how much you can cause to flow towards yourself. It's about flowing outwards, creating life instead of simply consuming it.

5. God asks us to.
   If you're a Christian, this is a basic part of your belief system. (If you're not a Christian, I highly recommend it!) However, Biblical generosity is not simply 10% - that's just the bare minimum (and if you really want to get into it, the 10% amount is questionable – more like 24-30% in the Old Testament). True Biblical generosity is about giving everything that you have and everything that you are, laying down your rights and your very life to do what God wants in this world. Giving 10% to a church is a far cry from the radical generosity God calls us to.

So, you up for the challenge of giving up some money? In the next few days I'll tell you why you should give to me, and answer some other pressing questions about tent-making, missions vs. church, and others!

Why Live On Support?

Living on Support is a lot like crowd surfing.

Why should you care about the reasons I live the way I live? 

 It's simple, really. I hope that by modeling a life that is uncommon and extraordinary, I will inspire others to change the world by living extraordinary lives as well. By explaining my reasons for living the way I do, it might inspire you to a life that is extraordinary but looks completely different than mine. Also, some of you might be considering being a part of the small army of people it takes to support me, and this might help you make sense of how this whole thing works. I'm doing a few posts about living on support and what that means.

I start talking about support, and invariably I get this look that communicates a few things. Namely, that I'm crazy. Also, that I'm selfish. Also, that I'm crazy. Seriously, seriously, crazy. I mean, who just stops working and asks other people who are working to support their lifestyle? How is that even possible? Why would that be okay?

To begin to answer the question of why I would live off of support, I first have to clarify just a bit. I'm not actually living off of supporters; technically, I'm living off the providence of God. I'm doing what I feel he's called me to, and I believe that he is the one giving me the means to do what he has asked me to. Ultimately, I do what I do whether people donate to me or not. Yes, the people who donate money to me are giving to me, but with the idea that they are doing it because they themselves are being obedient to what God has called them to do. By being obedient with the money God has given them, they are in effect giving it to God, who is giving it back to me. I realize that saying that when people give to me they give to God might sound a little arrogant, and I probably would agree that it does, if I didn't live in the same way. I am in the same boat as my supporters – meaning that I am obedient with the money that I receive. I will often give to worthy people and causes as God calls me to. I realize it's a fine point, but the distinction is important.

But why would I live that way? 

 Why not work and do ministry on the side? Wouldn't a legitimate missions organization pay their missionaries? Why not work at a church? These are all good questions, and usually pretty typical.

Essentially, it comes down to a few basics. 

1. I do what I do full time, usually more than 40 hours per week, and put everything I have into it. Getting a second job, even a part-time job, is something that could be done but is not a viable long-term solution. I've worked 60 plus hours per week before, and being so busy with so many things on my plate makes it nearly impossible to do any of them well.
2. I believe it's closer to a Biblical model than many other forms of employment today. If you examine the Bible, you will see that a basic theme is that we are to be interdependent on one another. We are not to be codependent, which is a form of validating unhealthy habits in one another. But neither are we designed to be independent, self-sustaining people who need nothing and give nothing. I think meeting each others physical and spiritual needs is the most basic tenet of Christian life.
3. I'm being obedient. If this is where God has called me, this is where I'll be. Whether or not there is money, I'm going to keep doing what I believe God has asked me until it's either impossible or I die trying. Now, obviously God hasn't asked me to close me eyes and cover my ears and just keep charging forward without understanding my surroundings, the pitfalls and opportunities. I think that when God calls people to something, he expects them to work as hard as they can to do the best they possibly can using every possible resource. In this case, fund-raising lets me continue being obedient longer than if I just did nothing.

So that's the basics of why I live off of support. There are more pointed questions, like why I work for someplace that doesn't pay a salary, why I don't “tent-make”, and how much I really need anyway. I will be answering those and more in an upcoming post.

What Support?

There's plenty more where that came from...

You may not know this, but I'm not employed. I don't have someone who tells me to do things, then pays me for doing them. This works for me, since I generally find that people only pay other people to do things that they would rather not do, which means that they're going to be boring, disgusting, insulting, embarrassing, or otherwise distasteful. So, I have the huge benefit of being able to do something that I think is incredibly important and valuable.

I feel blessed that I get to be someone who does something I love. Of course, it's not all sunshine and roses. There is a huge drawback to pursuing this lifestyle: money. Well, lack of money, really. I don't get paid for anything that I do. Not one cent. I work all day, I give out and I pour into people's lives, but receive no financial compensation for it.

But wait, if you work all day at a job that you don't get paid for, how do you live? What about your rent? What about your groceries? What about clothes? What about – wait, you do use toilet paper, don't you?

No worries – I do pay rent, I buy groceries, wear clothes, and use toilet paper. And I do have to buy all those things myself. Where does the money come from? It comes from people who donate to me. Yep, that's right. All the money I spend in a month comes from people who give it to me out of the goodness of their hearts.

Amazingly, there are quite a few people out there who want to donate to someone like me. Unfortunately for me, I don't know very many of them. I'm always looking for people who have generous hearts, who are willing to invest into something that they won't get immediate returns from, and who understand that giving away money can be incredibly rewarding.

Being generous was something that I learned from a young age. I was always taught to give 10% of my income away – usually to church, but not necessarily. I found that there was something strange that happened when I stopped thinking about all the things I could get for myself with my allowance and instead let the money go somewhere I would never get it back. It didn't feel like I lost it. Instead, I felt like all was right with the world. There was a certain sense of being solid – of being real. I found that, though it was difficult, I could actually enjoy giving money away.

Of course, as I got older and started to have a “career,” things changed. I found that most of my money was already spent as soon as I got it. I still had a generous mindset, but when that check came it got divvied up into bills, groceries, gas, and every other little category. I found that if I wasn't intentional - if I didn't create space in my budget specifically for giving money away - it didn't happen. Even worse, often there were times I wanted to give towards some person or cause, and I just didn't have any money left and couldn't do it.

The more I looked at this, the more I realized that I wasn't spending my money wisely. If I was serious about changing the world by encouraging people to live extraordinary lives, then I needed to start putting my money where my mouth was. I decided that investing in people would be the best investment I could make. Not necessarily because it would generate huge returns directly to me, but because I would be making the world as a whole a better place.

When I started giving money away, I found that it brought me so much joy. The days that I hated my job and wanted to simply walk out of the office, never to return were tempered by the fact that I knew I would be able to help support some people who were doing real good in the world. It was the one thing about my job that really made me happy.

Of course, now I'm on the other side of the fence. I'm the one living off of other people's generosity. Sometimes, I feel a little awkward asking people for money. I mean, it's a little like begging, right? Most days, however, I remember what it felt like to be able to give, to have that chance to make a difference, and I remember what an honor it is. Then I think to myself: why not give everyone this opportunity?

I'm going to do a few posts about money, living off support, and the rationale and philosophy behind it. Hopefully it will be funny and encouraging, while at the same time inspiring you to be generous (or more generous) in your own life.

Boredom

Boredom.

I've entered a period of life where my day to day activities are pretty routine. You might even call them boring. Now, I'm usually one who does everything I can to avoid being bored – like most people, I would imagine. Boredom seems like it can sneak up on me, but I know that there are several places I'm sure to encounter it.

For me, I get bored when I do the dishes. It's a brainless, repetitive task that requires almost no thought. But not so little thought that I can just check out to my happy place (where I happen to be an awesome ninja-poet who can conquer hordes of evil-doers and get the girl every time). No, if I check out to my happy place I'll spend the time to wash the dishes only to find little bits of crusted-on food that may or may not come off after repeated attempts. My mind has to be engaged in what I'm doing, otherwise the image of being a super-powerful ninja comes faces-to-face with the harsh reality that I can't even do the dishes very well.

Of course, I used to get really bored when I had to work in a cubicle. I remember some times when I would have to make a phone call, then another phone call, then another phone call. I was in one of those soul-sucking environments where you have to make 150-200 phone calls per day. I would literally have to force myself to dial the numbers, all the while thinking “I wish something would happen. Maybe the power will go out, or the phones will stop working. Maybe this number isn't another construction company, but a secret number for a government agency that is responsible for training super-spies. Maybe I'll get sick and go home. Sigh.”

And now, I find myself bored occasionally as well. Even though I've made the decision to leave all traces of a conventional lifestyle behind and embraced a life of adventure, I will still find myself bored from time to time. Ironically, part of this is by choice. I don't have a TV, so the usual number one place to turn when I'm bored is off the table. I also live in Oregon, so the weather usually precludes anything outside unless I feel like getting freezing cold and as wet as a dog at a cat-fish catching competition. Even though my life is headed in the direction I want it to, even though I am excited about what I get to do and the people I work with, I still find myself in moments of boredom.

But the more I experience boredom, the more I've started to learn some things about it. I've noticed that my first tendency is to try as hard as I can to quench the boredom, with almost anything at all. Books, magazines, the internet. Yes, the internet is a powerful tool. It also is a deep rabbit hole of pointless wastes of time known as flash games. It's amazing how much time I can spend trying to think of different ways to kill a pixelated elephant just to avoid that strange hollow feeling of boredom. In its own way, it's like a drug.

Of course, the more I thought about, the more I began to see that it really is an addiction. You can get your fix for boredom from a bunch of different dealers: movies, games, music, television, books, concerts, restaurants, theaters – the list goes on and on. I realized that I am actually addicted to entertainment. An entertainment-aholoic. Or alcoholo-tainmentist? Whatever, I can't go even one day without being entertained. When I look around, I see that most people are in the same situation I am. And honestly, most of the things we use to try to slake our thirst for entertainment are barely passable facades. Reality TV? Does that really entertain? No, it just distracts enough from the dreaded emptiness of boredom. But don't bore me with the details, just give me my entertainment – I don't care if it's hollow or vapid, it's fun!

I'm a junkie. There's no other way to say it. I have an addiction that I just can't break.

Not like I'm alone. I would say that, with the exception of a few rare souls, most people in this world are addicted to entertainment. Once, in South Africa, I knew a girl who lived in a shack that I wouldn't even store my lawn-mower in (if I had one). And in this shack that had no insulation, a roof that leaked, and barely enough room for a single bed that she shared with her one-year-old daughter, she had satellite TV (Ironically, she asked if I lived in a house like the people in “The OC” did). I can travel the world and find that the only thing I have in common with people is that we've seen the same movies. Yes, this addiction is certainly wide-spread.

But I've discovered something. If I don't stifle my boredom as soon as I feel the faintest tingling of it approaching, if I don't try to bury it in the nearest available entertainment, then something strange starts to happen. I find that my mind kicks in. It doesn't want to be bored, either. Almost like it says to itself, “Well, I guess my break's over. Back to work!” And then an incredible thing starts to happen: my mind starts to grow and expand. I find myself generating new ideas, thinking through new strategies, breaking out of old thought habits. I actually find myself growing.

Creativity, motivation, inspiration – it all comes flowing back. Tasks like writing that were so difficult and mundane before suddenly become exciting and full of life because the ideas just flow out of me. Almost as if all I've been waiting for is a break from entertainment long enough to actually think an original thought. It's like boredom is the gateway to creativity. Maybe my brain is so desperate for entertainment that it starts generating its own. Some people say that necessity is the mother of invention, I say that boredom must be it's father.

If you've embarked on your own Extraordinary journey, you may have caught onto this already. We're not built to have everything flow inward, to us. We're built to flow outward, to give to those around us and enrich their lives by expending our own. The crazy part about that is that the more we help people - the more we spend ourselves giving to others - the better we feel and the more we experience being alive.

So that's my challenge. Next time you start to feel bored, don't reach for the remote. Don't dive into the latest video game, or best-seller, or Facebook, or whatever (even a really cool blog that you can't wait to share with everyone you know). Let yourself feel it a little. You never know what a little time spent being bored could spark in your life – it might just change the world.

Take Someone with You

The Guide To Extraordinary Living - Part 5

I'm going to start by making a bunch of assumptions. I like assumptions, because they conform to my own little image of what's true very nicely. The assumptions I'm going to make are: 1) You've read the previous five articles on Extraordinary Living. If you haven't, start here. 2) That you are serious about living outside of an ordinary life. 3) That you've begun to dream big dreams and act on them, forgetting everything else. 4) That you think I'm awesome and are re-posting this blog all over facebook and twitter.

Well, hopefully you've done at least number four if nothing else.

The final step is less of a step, really, than it is a reminder of something to do along the way. In Part 1 we came to the conclusion that we need to be doing something that is outside of ourselves, that is bigger than us, and that is focused on other people. Otherwise, it's all just another take on padding our drab little cell. In Part 5 we bring that full circle. The fifth step of an extraordinary life is to take others with you.

You didn't want to keep all this awesomeness to yourself, did you?

If you are truly living extraordinarily, this should be happening to some degree already. There are two reasons that “Taking someone with you” is a separate step all on its own. On reason is that you need to be intentional with this, or it won't happen. There have been many examples throughout history of people who broke out, did great things, and then watched them fall apart because nobody was there to carry the vision after they got too old or too tired or too dead to do it themselves. The other reason is because you can't do it on your own anyways.

This happens all the time on our ropes course. We have a low obstacle course, and the goal is to get across a series of ropes, bridges, logs, and cables without touching the ground. Invariably, people will look at it, try to do it themselves, and fall flat on their faces. After trying several times they'll look at me and say “This is impossible, isn't it?” To which I reply “It's only impossible if you try to do it yourself.” That's when the lights go on and they go get help from a teammate.

That's what you need. A teammate. In fact, you need a whole team of teammates.

But immediately you will run into a dilemma. The dilemma is that there are just not that many people who are ready and waiting to break out of their box into the un-comfort and un-safety of an extraordinary life. If they were ready, they would have already jumped that fence and would be busy pursuing their own dream. You may be able to recruit a few of those people, and if you can catch them go for it, but on the whole they're a rare breed and you'll be lucky just to connect with them.

So who are you left with? The people who don't want to break out. Those who are content to stay inside their own little world of comfort and security. If you enlist their help without first helping them step into extraordinary life, then you run the risk of manipulating them and using them for your own personal gain.

So what can you do? Make your dream their dream. The best way to find people is to inspire them. Start talking about your big dream to anyone who will listen. Start sharing how it will change the world. Start informing people about how they can be a big part of what's going to happen. Inspiration literally means to breathe life into someone. You can be the breath of fresh air that awakens someone's heart. You can be the one to set people free.

Remember how great you felt when you broke out of your box? When the gray walls fell and you saw the fullness and richness that life can hold? Remember how excited you were, and how you felt like there was nothing that was impossible, how you could have reached out and grabbed the sun in your bare hands? Now imagine what its like to see that same light breaking over your friend's face, knowing that it was your love and dedication that helped them get there.

There's nothing better.

Now, none of this will never happen if you keep your dream all bottled up inside where no one can feel it. Let it out. Be courageous. Fight back against that tiny voice that tells you that you're not good enough, not strong enough, or not whatever enough. Tell that voice that it's not in control any longer. Stand up and join the ranks of those who dare to be great. Dare to live beyond comfort. Dare to live outside predictability. Dare to live an extraordinary life.

The Postmodern Evangelist Monologues

This came out of my musings about evangelism, purity, post-modernism, the church, and some other stuff. Hopefully there's something here to challenge pretty much anyone.

PART I:

Don't talk to me about purity. I know all about the kind of purity that you're peddling.

No thanks.

Seriously, leave me alone.

You just want to talk? Well...fine, I have a few minutes. Yeah, I can go sit down over there. But I'm telling you, I don't want what you have. Why? Because I can already describe it for you.

How would I describe it?

Are you sure you want to hear this?

Okay, fine. First of all, I don't believe the same things that you do. No, not just the stuff about what you should and shouldn't do – even though I do think that's a bunch of bull – but I mean the deeper things that you probably haven't even thought about. For example, I don't believe there's a God. I don't believe that the world was “created” at some point 10,000 years ago. I sure as hell don't believe that a bunch of fairy tales written by a bunch of white guys hundreds of years ago has any meaning to me today. See, I don't believe that, but you still want to tell me how to live.

Here's some problems that I have with you. Yes, you and everyone you represent. You don't open your eyes and look around. Science has made our lives much better than religion ever did. We don't need some god-fantasy to explain why things are the way they are. We've figured it out, and it doesn't have anything to do with some all-powerful angry guy in the sky. But it doesn't matter what we discover, or what new things people figure out, because you people all keep saying the same thing over and over: “Do this! Don't do that!” I swear, as soon as we find something to make everyone a little bit happier, all the Christians come out in force to say how terrible it is and how we should keep it away from everyone, especially the kids. Open your eyes! The world is changing out there.

Another thing that really bothers me about you guys is that you don't understand all the harm that religious-types have done over the years. Like I said, science is making our lives better all the time, but for the 2000 years that religion ruled the world, all you basically did was kill each other. I know – I know it wasn't you, but just like you're doing now, you try to pass that off as “someone else” and that it's not your fault, never realizing that you're running your own crusades right now. What about democrats, or environmentalists, or the whole homosexual community? I swear, if your churches had the power it would be Auschwitz all over again. It makes me wonder what you would do if you didn't have anyone to hate.

And then here you come to me, a complete stranger, and try to start telling me how to live. Don't you get that this is the same thing? You're running a little “Crusade” right now. All you're doing is showing how little you actually care about me. In fact, you're sitting there trying to tell me to turn my whole life around as if you even know how I live or what kinds of things I do on a day to day basis. Hell, I would be willing to bet that my life looks more “Christian” than yours does – minus the whole trying to convert people thing. I volunteer, I'm involved with charities, I do things to make an impact on my world, and I recycle. It's not like I'm some sort of twisted psycho who needs a saint to come down from heaven to help me see the error of my ways. But you don't even care, do you? You would rather I conform to your image of what it looks like to be “pure,” no matter what I'm doing right now. You just want me to jump through the hoops that your pastor holds up for me.

And that, I think, is the worst thing of all for me. The fact that you come in here, don't even try to understand me or get to know me in any way, and immediately demand a performance out of me whether I want to go there or not. You don't even know me, how could you possibly care about me? You're not interested in me, you're interested in getting some notch on your Bible, or in proving how right you are, or something. I don't care really. All I know is that the last thing on earth I would ever want to do is be like you, or buy in to what you stand for.

Like I said, no thanks.

PART II:

Look, most of what you've heard about me is probably wrong. In fact, right now you're not even responding to me, you're responding to all the negative stereo-types that have been slapped on me by people who make a living sensationalizing things. If you can set those things aside, just temporarily, I think that you might like to hear what I have to say.

Just give me a minute, let me explain myself.

I'll keep it short. And I'll buy you a coffee.

First off, let me explain that I'm not trying to change your behavior. That might happen, yes, but that's not the goal. I don't want to be the one that tells you how you should behave. Honestly, who would want to do that? I have enough problems just figuring this thing out for myself, there's no way I would want to have to figure it out for someone else. The way you behave is your own business, and if you want to do something I think you should just go and do it.

I get that you think that I'm totally irrelevant in a world with science and answers and shiny new things. But what has all that gotten us, really? Sure, people have bigger houses, we live longer, and we have 500 channels on TV, but is anyone really fulfilled? Are you fulfilled? I find that most people struggle through life just hoping to find something that will instill some spark, some joy inside of them that proves that they're really alive, not just surviving. Sure, you paint a happy image of life in TV commercials, but in the real world you're bored and looking for something to inspire you, not just entertain.

At some level, you realize all this which is why you end up throwing it all away and saying that no one knows anything for sure and that the most anyone can hope for is to attain their own happiness. You blindly claim that since science has failed then there is no absolute truth, and each person makes their own truth. You let everyone make their own choices. That's you're new reality, that choice is the only ultimate good. Not everyone will choose the same, but so what? What's good for them might not be good for you, but you're not them so you can't decide. Even though you can plainly see that the choices some people make cause them to be thoroughly unhappy, and possibly even suffering, you don't help them because you don't want to violate their sacrosanct choice. You fear control so much that you reject all types of control, and by doing so you sever the very hand you would use to help people who need it.

No, don't get me wrong. You're sympathetic. Probably more than me in a lot of ways. You feel what those people are feeling. You hang out with them. You cry with them. You even march for them. But when it comes down to doing anything, you have no ability. You can't help them because you can't tell them what to do, because you're so afraid of becoming an oppressor. So you're stuck – always wanting to do more, never knowing how.

Ultimately, you're lost.

The only solution you have is to lash out at people who do claim to have an answer – me – who you perceive as an oppressor. Which I'm okay with, really. You can think what you like about me. All I'm trying to tell you is that I've found it. The spark, the life, the inspiration. The thing that TV-commercial families act like they have. I don't claim to understand it completely, but I absolutely want to share it. See, you think I'm here to condemn you and force you to change, when really I'm here to share with you the one thing I think everyone is looking for. I haven't yet found someone who wasn't interested in being more alive. If you're not looking for life – and I mean the knock-down-drag-out-full-in-your-face kind of life – then fine, I'll let you on your way. You can even call me narrow-minded. But if it is something that you want, maybe it's worth at least taking a look at.