Step Outside of Normal

A Step Outside of Normal

I'm plagued with a sense of greatness. I've always known that I'm destined to be different, to excel where others fail, to reach heights that others couldn't even imagine. I've known it since I was young. I am great. I will shake the world.

My plague.

A plague because I'm 30 years old and it's not happening yet. Hasn't happened at all. In fact, quite the opposite. I look around and feel that all my striving and effort has landed me squarely on the side of mediocrity. I don't have the life I dreamed of. My life looks less like a dream and more like a series of disconnected, unplanned events that have little in common except for the fact that I star in all of them and they all end up rather lackluster.

I'm plagued by an undeveloped potential. A haunting of a what might have been. A whisper that all the dreams and ambitions I had were mine for the taking but that somehow, in some way that I can't quite see because I'm too much of a blind dimwit, I squandered the opportunity. There's also another, equally insistent whisper that I was meant for so much more than what I have now.

Plagued. Haunted by failure.

Was the dream true? Was there ever any potential in me? Did I have it in me to shake the world with my footsteps? Am I destined to forever wonder if it was all just a dream? Or was it real but I somehow lost my way and fumbled the destiny I was supposed to have?

These questions have been haunting me. Swirling around in my head like cloudy water in a jar. Was it true? Or was I destined to die in obscurity from the beginning?

I'm tired of trying to figure it out. The questions are driving me mad. I have to find out. I have to answer this burning question: Is there still a chance? Do I still have time to find the destiny I sensed when I was young, or do I resign myself to a lifetime of mediocrity?

What will it take to find out? How can I discover or rediscover a purpose? What steps should I take? I've developed so many habits in my life that I don't even know what it takes to do something differently. Is it possible to change? Can my life be fulfilling and full of purpose?

This will be my journey. A journey to break out of complacency. A challenge to rise above the status quo. This will be a chronicling of the efforts that the undertaking will require. A blog, a traveler’s notes on the paths I choose, the steps I take, the pitfalls I encounter, and the victories I (hopefully) achieve.

God, I hope I achieve something wonderful.

I will step outside of normal. I will share the journey with you. I will be brutally honest. I will shatter the limits of the possible, or I will fail spectacularly. I will no longer wonder the middle-ground shadow lands of safety and boredom. I want to see if there is life, real life, to be had out there. I will see if greatness is possible – even accessible.

If it is? Well, then we can go there – together.

It is with a lot of excitement that I announce the launching of my new website, www.stepoutsideofnormal.com, where the journey will continue.  This blog will become less active - in fact, I won't update it anymore, but you can get all my updates over at my new, dedicated website.  Once again, that's:

Step Outside of Normal

I'll see you there!

When You Get Knocked Down

Wow, I wish I was that cool.

My website go hacked.  Not this one, the other one I was building to take over for this one.  After nearly a month of preparation, I was almost ready to launch my new website.  I had worked very hard to make sure that it was the way I wanted it to look, tweaked every little setting, found just the right colors, and spent generally too much time getting it the way I liked it.


After putting it off for longer than I had wanted to initially, I was ready!  I had written, edited, and re-written the opening essay.  I was going to launch it to the world with a lot of gusto.


Then, the day I logged in to post my article, my password didn't work.  Huh?  I tried again, pretty sure I hadn't recently changed my password.  Then I cruised on over to my homepage to find one very like the picture above (I didn't save the actual image because I was annoyed).


Great.  So here I was, everything in place, and someone comes along and hacks* into my webpage, ruining everything I had spent so long preparing.  All my work designing - gone.  All the thought and effort, wasted.


Honestly, I was tempted just to give up on the entire thing.  For real.  I had this whole inner monologue going on about the situation.  "What am I doing anyways?  No one's going to read a blog that I write.  Look, all this work and it just ended up getting hacked anyways.  Now you have to start over.  Who even knows if this will be worthwhile?  Look how much effort it is just to get a decent web page up and running, let alone creating something that other people will find valuable and worthwhile.  It's too much of an uphill battle.  I should just quit before I get too deep into this."


I find that voice accompanies me in many places that I am unsure of.  The voice that tries to predict the future by weighing the effort and pain involved against the potential benefit.  That voice, strangely, always perfectly imagines the pain and heartache I will face.  It never seems to get around to actually imagining the benefits of perseverance.


For example, I can clearly imagine how I will put time and effort into building a website.  It will mean me sacrificing time with my family, time away from entertaining myself, and time away from building friendships.  I will faithfully commit to these efforts, but once I get a website established it will be totally ugly.  No one will like it, and besides, it will be hacked every other week and I'll have to beg Allah the Merciful to knock it off.  When I do manage to produce content that inspires a reaction, the reaction I get will be from people who say that I'm pretentious and arrogant, or mainly to say that I have no talent or unique voice.  And finally, when it can't get any worse, and I finally give up, people will label me as a quitter and failure who can't even do something as ridiculously easy as running a web page.


Once I imagine that, I'm pretty much ready to close up shop.


The voice of my imagination never really gets around to the good stuff.  I never fully imagine what it might be like if I do succeed, and things go well for me.  I think part of it is because I don't always believe that I'm the kind of person that good things happen to.  But when I do take the time to really envision what would happen, it totally fires me up.


For example, let's say I start a blog that is actually somewhat popular.  Now, not only is it popular, but the people who read it are truly inspired.  They stop living boring, ordinary lives and instead start living extraordinary lives that bless other people.  They share their change and are grateful for the work I do.  I release products that people pay real money for and are clamoring for the next one.  I get book deals, and speaking engagements, and consulting gigs.  I'm so successful that I hire a techno-goon to hunt down the hacker, hack into his system and delete all his japanimation movies.  Life is good.


When viewed from that perspective, it seems ridiculous to not at least give it a second chance.  Basically, it's that old adage about getting back up when you get knocked down, and how a good man keeps getting up even when he falls over and over.  It's not the getting knocked down, it's the staying down that will destroy you and your dreams.


Besides, living an extraordinary life is not about putting myself in situations where I am sure not to get hurt.  It's about accepting the reality that life will throw things at me that I'm not prepared for, and that I may have a hard time accepting or dealing with those things.  Even though those things will come, I believe the payoffs will be worthwhile in the end.


So, I am still planning on launching a website, which will be awesome.  I am thinking of something special for the first hundred people who join once it launches, so be looking for that.  I'm thinking that the website will be rebuilt and ready to go in about 1 or 2 weeks.  Unfortunately, the reason I wanted to have it ready before this month is that I'm incredibly busy this month with the school I am running starting on the 28th, so getting the website done and the school running will be quite the accomplishment.  Stay tuned for updates.


Anyhow.  I hope this post finds you on the upswing, where everything is falling into place and things come easily.  If not, I hope it gives you the courage to get back up one more time and do something amazing with your life.


What are some things that help you get back up?
----------------------------------------------------------


*Technically, this is not a hack.  It's a crack.  Hacking is when you find some way onto a system that isn't supposed to be there.  Cracking is when you just get the password.

7 Methods to Determine Your Value

You might be surprised by your value, too.

How valuable are you?

Here's a fun question. Try and figure out how valuable you are. Go ahead, take a few brief seconds and get an answer in your head.

Got it?

Did you really do it, or did you just keep reading without actually trying to figure it out? Come on, you can do it. Stuck? Here's some ideas (and how I score on each one):

• Use income to determine your value.
  This one is simple. If you make $120,000 per year, you're more valuable than if you make $30,000. If you make $200,000, you're more valuable than if you make $120,000. The simplicity of this is beautiful, and as a side bonus it means you can incessantly be trying to up your income your whole life! A mad scramble to earn more at whatever cost, therefore validating your existence, can completely consume you! Bonus! My score on this is actually in the negative, according to the IRS (meaning I lost money, instead of earning it).
• Base your value on your net worth.
  Take everything you own and determine what it's worth, then subtract any debts you owe. If, like me, you have $4.13 in the bank, a car worth $1000, don't own a home, and clothes that the goodwill guy won't even give you a donation receipt for, then start with $1000. Subtract debts (several student loans for overpriced, antiquated education systems), and you have your net worth, which in my case is well below zero.
• Base your value on your position.
  Are you a manager? How about a CEO? Maybe a shift lead? No? Not to worry, there's hope. Hey, even just a regular employee is higher on the scale than a full-time volunteer. To put a value on this, just list every possible position that there might be in order, from highest to lowest, then start numbering them from the bottom up. The higher your number, the higher your value! In my case, my value is a -1 using this method.
• Use your credit score as a value indicator.
  Do you have high credit score? Congratulations, you're valuable! Not so great? Oh, sorry. You're not as valuable. You'd better work hard to appease the credit gods and make sure that the number rises. Don't ever, ever do anything to lower your credit score. It could ruin your future, you invaluable scum! Don't you know anything? Credit scores are important, because they determine the outcome of your entire life! Because without good credit, you're not a good person. Based on this method, my score is about a D.
• Use social hierarchy to determine your value.
  You may be poor and unemployed, but you're the life of any party you go to! You can liven up a room like nobody's business! That's what it means to use social hierarchy to determine your value. You take the “intangibles” - things like your intelligence, good looks, charisma, knowledge, or ability to drink beer dispensed from a helmet – and use them to define how valuable you are. The great part about this is that nearly anything can count in this category. Are you unapproachable by the opposite sex but can recite all of Frodo's lines in the extended edition Lord of the Rings trilogy? That's valuable! My social hierarchy value is inflated because I am an overlooked, hardship-burdened missionary doing important work for others.
• Value-ize your friendships.
  Thanks to modern advancements, this method has moved out of obscure into a hard, fast number that is easy to find out. In the old days, you would count your friends, and then take into account their value, and base your value off of that. Now, however, it's very scientific. The actual number is arrived at by dividing your total number of facebook friends by a constant, like .89721, and then multiplying that into the number of people you follow on twitter divided by the number of people who follow you. If the math is a little too confusing, you can just use the total friend count on facebook to give you a ballpark figure of your value. My exact value (using the formula above) is 380.113699.
• Make something up.
  My favorite of the above methods. In this, you take what you think is your value, and assign any number to it at all. In this case, my number is 9.8 novemvigintillion (that's 98 with 90 zeros after it). Of course, it could also be Red (kind of like the terror alert system), or a funny sound. The options are limitless!

As you can probably tell, it's a hard question to answer. I've found on my own journey that this question – the one about how valuable I am - is actually one of the key questions I can ask myself. How valuable am I? The answer to that question determines what kind of life you will begin to assemble for yourself. If you believe you are worthless, the life you build will be generally shallow and miserable. If you believe that you are extremely valuable, the life you build will be one that reflects your greatness.

If I lived my life on the basis of the value scores above, my life would be terrible. Half of the methods resulted in a negative score! I've observed, from my own life, that when I believe in my value, and believe that I am exceedingly valuable, that I accept the opportunities that come my way, I accept the gifts and “coincidences” that bring me closer to what I want out of life. I spend less time disbelieving and more time enjoying the richness that life offers. I'm also less accepting of when other people treat me poorly, and willing to stand up for myself and my dignity.

Putting a number to your value is essentially meaningless. It's a futile exercise. Why? Because you are infinitely valuable. Yes, you, in all your screwed-up glory and all your failed attempts and missteps. You have more to offer this world than you can imagine. The possibilities of who you are and what you can become are mind-staggering. The more confident you are in that, the more bold you will be in giving yourself to the world, the more you will be able to step outside the safety of standard behavior, and the better place we all will live in. You are valuable, and the world – me included – needs you.

Live it up.

The Time I Got Paid to do Something I Didn't Know How to Do

Okay, so it wasn't exactly as complex as this lady's job, but still...

In this quest to find a life outside of normal, I usually encounter a little fear along the way. Most times, the fear takes on the form of a reasonable, sensible voice in my head that does its best to convince me not to stick out. It might tell me that I'll look stupid, or that I'll be a huge failure, or that I just don't have what it takes.

My goal is to overcome that voice so that my life can be unique and exciting. Sometimes I manage to be the victor, sometimes I give in and miss out on an opportunity to be amazed.

This is the story of one time I won, overcame the fear, and stepped beyond normal. For a period of time I had been working with a company that fixed and flipped houses. One of the guys I worked with was hired to do a small side job. He brought me along to help. It was supposed to be a two-day job, just the demolition of a master bathroom in a house belonging to a guy named Bill. All we were hired to do was tear the old stuff out and throw it away. After we did the “easy” stuff, the “professionals” would come in to finish the remodel.

Well, I handled the job like any other job I do. I showed up on time, I had a good attitude, and I did the best job I possibly could. The owners of the house were impressed with our work ethic, and asked what else we could do. We could do most of the rough work and drywall, so they kept us on to do that. That lasted about 2 more weeks, which was great for me because work was really slow and I really needed the money.

Now, the owner of the house, Bill, had been in contact with this tile guy to install the tile in the bathroom. And it was definitely going to be a nice bathroom. Natural stone tile everywhere, about 10 bazillion shower heads, heated floor, and big soaking tub. You know, one of those Home and Garden bathrooms. It was a very profitable job, but the “professional” tile guy Bill knew kept putting him off. First, his other job ran over time. Next, he was sick, or his dog was sick, or something. Then the next time it was something else. Basically he kept giving excuses to the point that Bill was sick of it and just wanted someone he could rely on. It was nearing the point where my portion of the job would be done, when Bill approached us and asked “Can you guys do tile work?”

You should know that I had never done any tile work my entire life. Maybe once I had helped my dad install some tile when I was about 10 years old, but I didn't really know anything about it. Neither did my other friends who were working on the project with me. Both of them, immediately and without hesitation, replied “Nope. Don't do tile. Wouldn't want to.”

Bill looked at me. I replied, confidently, “Sure, I can do tile work,” even though I never had before. The confidence is important, I think. Although I hadn't actually done it before, I was completely confident in my ability to quickly learn how and to do an excellent job. I was honest with him, and told him that I hadn't ever been paid to do it before. But because of my work ethic, integrity, and confidence, he was willing to let me take a shot at it.

That night, you can bet I was spending a lot of time reading tutorials, watching videos, and doing whatever else I could to learn about tile and how to do it well.

The next few days went great. I started with a small portion of the house that needed repair anyways, as sort of a test of my skills. It was definitely hard work (as all construction and remodeling is), but there wasn't anything magical about it. It was like most other things in life – it just needed applied focus and determination, along with a willingness to work as hard as was needed. I found I was actually enjoying myself because it was such a new experience. I did a good job, so Bill let me do the bathroom floor. Once again, he liked what he saw so he kept expanding the job. Finally, 3 bathrooms, one entry way, and one sun room later, I was done.

What was supposed to be a two-day job turned into a job that lasted for two more than two months, plus I got referrals to several of his neighbors which turned into more work for me. I think, all told, I made around $15,000 from those jobs. On top of that, I'm now a professional tile installer! I have a skill that is a permanent part of who I am and is something I can use to bring value wherever I go. And none of it was impossibly difficult. Hard work, yes, but new and exciting at the same time.

----------

None of this would have been possible if I hadn't been determined ahead of time to overcome fear in my life. If there had been even slight hesitation when Bill had asked if I could do tile, the fear would have won and he probably would have turned elsewhere to find someone who could do it. I would have missed out on everything that choice has brought me.

I like this story because it reminds me how much difference a simple attitude can make. Life is full of possibilities, and if you are determined to make the most of them, you can have a life that is full and enjoyable.

Be determined! Don't let fear stop you from living the life that is possible for you. Fear is the illusion that keeps you in mediocrity. You have a lot to offer the world, and, to be honest, we need what you can offer. Decide ahead of time that you will face the world with confidence, overcome fear, and see what doors open up for you.


------------------------


In other news, I'm planning on migrating this blog.  Although Blogger has been good to me, I'm looking to extend my wings a little and live outside the sheltered borders.


Keep reading for the updates, I plan on launching my new website by the end of this month!